Do you ever feel mastery in something but can’t go with it? Don’t know why suddenly I let my self to think it much. Maybe it’s because of my conversation with my old friend for about three days ago. Our tête-à-tête is like a bridge which strengthens my own thoughts to start my writing.
I believe everybody ever brought their self run away from their [reality] zone just to feel another taste of life. Surely sure to predict that “The Taste” must be something buried inside as unachievable passion in their present because of something called destiny.
Some people felt confidence with their ability to cook. They often spend their spare time in the kitchen; making some excellent culinary but actually they aren’t a master chef.
Some others wake up in the morning with their own beat; entering bathroom then starting to sing a song; able to play some music instruments secretly; listening many lyrics everyday even at office. Are they musician? No, they just some particularly people who have golden voice but hide it on their own throat only.
At the other corner, there are people who love to waste their time for some writings; very fluent in passive but not popular as well as J.K. Rowling. They kept the script on their laptop, diary, or a blog only. They feel enough.
On the other view, we would see people wearing cute clothes with some unique designs; build house with fabulous architecture. Then, many whispers heard: “They must be use a professional to help them!” Unfortunately, the whispers have to go as rumor. They’ve made it all by their own idea. They are not stated formally as a designer or an architect but have quality to fit their taste into art sense.
Then someday you get closer with some astonishing people with their ability in several languages. They speak English, Mandarin, Japan, and others. They aren’t a diplomat; do not have a chance to go abroad; never take some course or any majored in language. But surprisingly, they pushed you to give your thumbs up.
Another day comes. Suddenly you met people expert in IT. They fall in love with programming; familiar with many software; and always update with profile of new gadgets. Almost hard to open your eyes and see the fact that some of them didn’t have computer at home even!
Again… I speak too much. I gave you more than enough with something above to find out the lesson inside. Ya, you’re right about the point.
Don’t ever bragging yourself with everything you got! When you feel better than other, you should remember the faces I wrote above. Outside there, many people didn’t have a chance or didn’t take a chance to have stayed where you have stayed. So, don’t ever blow your own horn because when you do that to the ‘wrong’ person, you will be so shy because you never had those horns actually. We’ll never know the high limit of sky’s height, right?
Just remember, we can’t deny that some percents of our life depend on luckiness. Some people get something they want easily while some others have to struggle for it. Then we separate life as an opportunity and as an exertion. Sometimes, when we see our own reflection in front of the mirror, we would see an opportunist’s face there and in the other day we would able to see a struggle’s face.
When you see yourself as an opportunist, take your fortune gratefully, wisely. Don’t expect too much that you’ll have some excuse or privilege to boast yourself as long as your reflection still say: “Hey, I’m a lucky!” not “Hey, I’m good!” to you. We have always to be honest to our own value.
Next, when you see the struggle’s face in the mirror, don’t be so worry to fail. God will pay your blood and sweat. Yet you’ve stuck and all things seemed so far away from your expectation, you’ll still get some pride because a struggle is the people who have tried to be someone through a process. Ya, that process made a struggle distinguishable with an opportunist. It made an opportunist will not have any courageous to show off in front of a struggle.
A struggle only needs a small number of luckiness but an opportunist will always need it. To be honest, the opportunists will always have some hesitation for their own quality. Behind their achievements, they will always prying whether they deserve or not. It’s so pathetic, right?
Standing up, looking back my way, I’m starting to figure out my self. Am I an opportunist or a struggle? As far, I can describe my self as an opportunist. I’m not special as anything. As a teacher, I’m zero and effortless (penting getoo?? :D); as a woman, there’s no baby in my uterus yet (wakakak); whereas as friend, sometimes I’m too selfish, moody, and autistic. See… I’m just a jerk!!
Mostly, I got everything by chance. Anything I want much willing to be just reverie. Even, when yesterday gave me an opportunity to fix my dream back, I’m not brave enough to do that. Hohoho… I’m being a wrench again! More than that, maybe I’m a hypocrite who always lies to my self.
Considering all back, I guess 25 to 26 give me some plea to not blame my self completely. I have to hold my life fully of responsibility not to run everything based on like or dislike. I have to confront the reality and stop anything smelt nonsense.
Remembering something stated on book I’ve read: “Many things could be done, but sometimes you don’t want it much although you could be someone with those things. So, you just stay away and choose the other doors.” Hoping I’m include into that one. Leaving or taking something as choices of life not because of my infirmity. So, I’ll never regretting all my decisions and there’s no LOOSER’s platform could be read on my forehead.
To hear the chronicles of my old friend who sat beside me with a glass of avocado juice, I said these words to my self: “Mie, you’ll never be too good in front of a struggle no matter you felt what cool you are!” Then, I promised. Later, when I stand in front of the mirror, I’ll make my self to see a struggle’s face oftener than opportunist’s face. I don’t mean to refuse God kindness through some luckiness. I’ve said previously, a struggle also needs some luckiness but not in whole bunch.
Dear friend... Thanks to you. I’m so shy to see some of your changes. You grew up and left me so far.You gave me some lesson learnt.
Hhhh... Long writing, I'm fasting, waiting...
